President Bush Discusses Post-White House Plans

As President Bush heads into the last year of his presidency, his thoughts naturally turn to post-White House plans. At a press gaggle aboard Air Force One, President Bush discussed some of his ideas yesterday.

"I've been thinking about writing a book--Presidenting for Dummies. You know, like those Sex for Dummies or The Internet for Dummies books," an animated President Bush told reporters. "Chapter 1 would be something like: So now you're president: how to get started. I'd include stuff about foreign policy and budgets."

The president touched on a number of other ideas, including undercover agent ("don't out me like Scooter Libby did, guys!"), cub reporter, special envoy to the Middle East, and oddly, marine biologist ("I like that Seinfeld episode where George pulls the golfball out of the whale's blowhole").

Presidential scholar Tom Brookens of the University of Massachusetts commented on the president's plan. "Bush isn't as dumb as some people think--it's more a lack of intellectual curiousity. I'm sure if you put him in the right environment, with the proper encouragement, he could do something impressive. Sure, he won't be writing constitutions for new democracies, winning a Nobel Prize, or running for Congress, but maybe he could do something with his hands, under supervision, for short periods of time, with plenty of breaks. As long as he's not planning catastrophic wars, pretty much whatever he does will probably be fine with most Americans."